Nutso Prego

As my pregnancy has advanced, there are a number of things that have taken me by surprise, even if I’ve read or heard about them. For example, it’s all but impossible for me to eat a normal-sized meal in one sitting without getting a serious acid back-up going from my stomach to my throat. Ouch! Of course, this is sort of good in the sense that it forces me to avoid overeating at any one meal, but instead it has encouraged me to become a 24 hour, round-the-clock feeder! Another new and unexpected sensitivity I’ve developed is the inability to sleep through the slightest disturbance (e.g. a faraway siren or barking dog). This one is reassuring, not because I’m ordinarily such a heavy sleeper, but because waking to the pre-freak-out cooing of a baby sounds way better than waking to his screaming (though I naturally accept that we’ll soon be waking to both!).

The most disturbing of my emerging ‘symptoms’ of impending motherhood is a strange fixation with protecting (over protecting?!) the future interests of the little guy, even before oxygen ever hits his lungs. I think I’m generally positive about people with differing cultures and attitudes/beliefs and welcome their perspective and influence on my life. That said, lately I’ve had episodes of cynicism that I can’t help but assign to some kind of pregnant psychosis! Who is waiting in the shadows to cast doubt or insecurity in the mind of our little guy? What individual or societal force is poised to squash his hopes, dreams and ultimate happiness? Luckily, I have wise friends and family, and a divinely level-headed husband, to reel me in and remind me that a) my fears are generally silly and unfounded, and b) my own sanity is surely more central to the baby’s well-being, regardless. Oh yeah, that’s right. ☺